My Own...

Makai’s Birth

The last few of weeks of my pregnancy had been very hard. I was so tired and really felt like I was ill. My blood pressure continued to run in the higher ranges of normal and occasionally became mildly high thus causing me some concern. I continued to have mild headaches in my forehead that would never go away. Leah and Stacy had planned on arriving on the 4^th of April, but closer to time we all knew that that would be too late. They called and asked how I felt about having them come in on Friday, the 28^th. That was exactly what I wanted them to do and so they made their trip from Amarillo at 11pm Thursday night.

I saw them the following afternoon at a picnic at the island. We cooked hamburgers and hotdogs and briefly discussed what would happen the following day. They asked me how anxious I was to have my baby, and I told them it was time. I had been having strong regular contractions for a while and I knew that you were a good size.

I was 3 cm dilated when they checked my cervix Saturday morning. They stripped my membranes and applied Arnica to my cervix right before noon. The next thing was to wait. I had mild sensations above my pubic bone and in my lower back for hours, but thought it was just from the stimulation to my cervix. I did not think it was going to work. I asked Chris to check my cervix around 3:30 that afternoon and he did not feel any change since the night before. I was disappointed. I called Leah and she said they could try some more arnica, so a couple hours later I went to their room and they tried the arnica again. My cervix opened to a 6 and then slowly to an 8 internally and a 9 on the external os. I was fully effaced and they said it would not be long. I did not believe what they said. I was not having any discomfort and the contractions that I did feel were only lasting about 20 seconds long. They were no stronger than the braxton-hicks that I had been feeling the weeks before. It was so hard to believe that I would be holding the baby in no time. I finished setting things up and making phone calls around 7pm. The sensations were still the same and although I was almost completely finished dilating I had no pain. Leah wanted to rupture the bag to give the uterus a tighter fit and so I agreed. The water was clear and plentiful. We did this with me sitting in the tub, I decided to go ahead and stay in, so I filled it up with warm water and just focused on the feelings in my body. I had regular contractions, one long, lasting about 45 seconds and one short, lasting 15 to 20 seconds. They were strongest down low so I constantly massaged my uterus just above my pubic bone and that made it very tolerable. My cervix was still posterior and I had a good lip that kept your head back. I was completely dilated and it felt good to push, but I didn’t have that overwhelming desire yet. As long as I could remain focused between the contractions I could deal with the one to follow. There were a lot of people in the room and their talking really distracted me during that time. I needed silence to keep my mind from wandering off and to prepare for the upcoming task.

Throughout the delivery I relied heavily on your father and we shared something amazing that evening. Everything he did felt good to me and I found so much comfort in his arms. I had heard of couples connecting through birth and there was no doubt that our love was strengthened that night. I cannot imagine what it would have been like without him there. His body was so strong and held me through every pain. I feel as though we did it together and that he was as much apart of the birth as I was.

After a few more contractions Leah felt it was necessary to hold the cervix over your head so you could be born. I wanted to wait because it was very intense to try pushing past their manipulations. The contractions felt better than their hand inside of me and so we did wait for a few more. We tried more arnica and then they finally convinced me that it needed to be done. It hurt tremendously to push past it, but somehow I did it. She finally took her hand out and I had the strong need to push. Leah told me to keep it slow, and that too was hard. My body took over and started pushing so hard. They kept telling me that it wouldn’t be long, but I really didn’t believe them. I had pushed for 45 minutes with the previous births and that was while really making a lot of effort. This time I pushed like that for only about 5 minutes. It seemed like your head was on my bottom for a long time as they tried to help my skin stretch. You had a loose cord around your neck and Stacy unlooped that and then I finished the work of pushing your head out. They put both mine and Chris’ hands down and together we pulled the rest of your body out. You made two little squeaks and then were silent. You never cried. You lay on my chest with eyes wide open and just listened to the sounds of our voices. No one else even touched you. They left you with me and for that I will always feel blessed. Some of the people were concerned that something was wrong because the room was so quiet, but I knew that you were okay. I could feel you breathing as you lie on my chest and your feet were moving all around like you were swimming. From the moment I saw you I fell in love. You had this peace about you that I have never seen before. Your eyes just searched in amazement, but you were not afraid. When you heard your daddy’s voice you stretched your head and neck to try to find him. It was all so amazing.

After the birth the placenta was born. It took only a few minutes and that too was done. Stacy quickly checked my perineum and found it all fine. Everyone left the room and you father and I just spent the next few moments in heaven. We checked your bottom to see if you were a boy and of course you were. I saw that you were as I pulled you to my chest, but your dad still did not know. It was so exciting to wait until your birth to find out your sex. Even though I felt like I would give birth to a son throughout my pregnancy I was shocked when I saw for my own eyes.

Daddy climbed out of the tub and got cleaned up. I stayed in a while longer and then decided to clean off and climb out of the tub. You stayed awake for quite a while, just looking all around. The room was dark and quiet and the three of us were so happy.

You were born at 8:45 pm on Saturday the 29^th of March 2003. You weighed 9 pounds even and were 21 inches long. You had dark hair and dark pink skin. We named you Makai Oliver. Your birth was perfect, as are you.