My Lovely Apprentice on Numero Uno

Sweet Noah’s Birth Story Noah’s birth is one of my favorite memories, and one I think of often. I didn’t know much about Midwives or the importance of the birthing experience when I found out I was pregnant. I went to my routine prenatal checkups at a hospital every four weeks. I felt like I was missing out on so much, I felt like another number or unknown face at the hospital.

When I was six months pregnant, I attended a friend’s birth. She was having her first child at the birthing center with Amber. I wasn’t there for more than an hour before I knew that this is what I was missing. After experiencing this birth, I knew that if I continued with the hospital route I would always regret it and the experience of the birth of my child was not something I was willing to have any regrets about. So I started seeing Amber in my third trimester and it was a completely different vibe. I didn’t feel like I was just another number in a long line of people who needed to use the room after me. I knew I was finally heading in the direction of the birth that I wanted to have. On the day of Noah’s birth I woke up at 6:30 am with my husband, James, as he was getting ready for work and I noticed that it felt like my water had a slow leak. Now, at this point I was so ready to meet my new little baby that I was on my 3rd or 4th false alarm. I was determined not to tell my husband “this is it” again, until it was really it. My mom had even flown in early because I was so sure I was going to have him early (I was walking around at 3cm dilated for over a week, so I thought every day was going to be the day). So I kissed my husband good bye and started my morning routine of “get this baby out” with yoga and walking. Throughout the morning I kept feeling little gushes of water, at this point I probably should have known, but I wasn’t having contractions and I was starting to get use to having no idea what my body was doing. Midmorning, I told my mom what was happening but I wasn’t getting my hopes up again. The minute I told her she shouted “This is it! That’s your water!” That’s when it finally hit me and I got really excited. We started preparing the house and running some errands to get some contractions going. When I was at the grocery store somebody asked me when I was due and my mom started crying and saying, “She’s in labor! The baby is coming today!” then the stranger started crying and put her hand on my stomach and prayed for me and the baby. It was a very special moment. James decided to come home early even though my contractions weren’t very strong yet. Amber came over at 6:30pm because I was feeling anxious about my water being broken for too long (I was scared about having to go to the hospital if we hit the 24hr mark). She finished breaking my bag of water and oh did those contractions come. She encouraged me to take a warm shower which helped. Labor progressed and I remember going through the transition state. I hit my wall and was afraid that I wouldn’t have the energy to push and I just needed a break from the pain. Not long after that, it was time to push. I was in the bathtub already and definitely felt the urge to push. This is when I got my second wind and had a renewed sense of energy. My sister was in the room with me and was driving me nuts with a flashlight that kept reflecting off the water into my face. She suddenly announced that it was a girl! All I could think of was “why does it still hurt?” As it turns out, she just saw the head and saw it had hair so she said it was a girl (yes, that’s going to come back to bite her- I can’t wait until her first pregnancy). I, on the other hand, still had a good 4 or 5 pushes to do. Then, he came. There are no words for the moment that you see your baby for the first time. Noah came out and was laid straight on my chest, not taken from me. The bonding between my husband, baby and I was instant and intense. Noah never cried, just stared at us and we just stared amazed at him. That was the moment I first understood a mother’s love which cannot be explained, only felt. 3 years later and he is absolutely amazing.

Midwifery

You know...it's seldom easy. Sure, sometimes we get the easy birth, "butter birth", they call it. Most times it's hard. It's hard because there are layers upon layers of emotional damage to dig through, hard because there are medical professionals fighting your every move, hard because mommas want what they want, hard because in the midst of all that we are as midwives...we are also moms, wives, daughters, and friends. I just transported a mother for a true "emergency c-section". It was really needed. The baby was done with birth and at only 2 ounces shy of 11 pounds I was without a way. The baby was born without complications and was is doing well today, but in many ways I felt like I had let down my client and my friend. After all, the body shouldn't grow a baby too big and besides this momma was no stranger to big babies, her 1st was 10.1 and was delivered posterior and vaginally, so why???? I was so shocked that this guy couldn't make it through and while we dug for answers I just know this Dr. is sitting here shaking his head as to why we keep doing this and why we aren't surrendering everything to the mainstream medical establishment when had we waited another hour this baby may not have been born breathing. And I'm going to be honest here, I think this Dr. is quite awesome!! don't get me wrong, but there's a problem going too far any one direction!! Midwifery is amazing, but thank God we have medicine when a momma or baby is sick. Obstetrics is amazing, but overkill for most "butter births". I'm just tired tonight. I'm wishing all could have been better. I'm wondering what, besides size, got in the way of this little baby. Baby and mom are doing fine, just wish we didn't have to go into hospital!!

VBAC @home

Norah’s VBAC Birth Story I woke up around 7:30 Friday March 20, 2009 to regular cramping. I had just had light cramping for a few days before that had not been at any regular timing so I didn’t think much of it yet. My mother in law and brother in law came over around 8:30 to do some work in the yard for us. I got Ryan up and ready for work. I made pancakes for breakfast and ate about half of one before I got a little sick to my stomach. I told Ryan that he was going to have to go out for lunch because I didn’t feel well enough to make his that day. I also informed him to keep his phone nearby and sign on to AIM as soon as he got to work so I could message him quickly. I had stopped to time contractions for 30 minutes they were coming every 4 minutes. I wanted to go for a walk and get in the bath, but I couldn’t leave with the in-laws here. I did not want them to know what was going on at the time. They did not know we were having a home birth, and I didn’t want to let anyone know I was in labor yet. I still wasn’t sure it was the real thing. I called the midwife around 11 to let her know what was going on. I was supposed to have my appointment with her at 12:30 that day, but we had rescheduled the day before for the 24th. She asked me a lot of questions and said they would be on their way over in about an hour. My mother-in-law and brother-in-law left around 1pm, and the midwives showed up about 30 min later. I was talking to Ryan over AIM and told him that I was in fact in labor and to let his boss know he might have to leave early. At my previous appointment I was at 1cm and 50% effaced. She checked me and said I was at 3cm. The contractions were still light enough to where I could walk around the house. The midwives said they were going to go for coffee and be back in an hour to check on me again. I lost track of time at this point. The contractions were getting more intense and I started having the urge to moan through them, which helped immensely. After they left I had my mom call my sister to come over to help with Kaylee, and I got in the bath. Them warm water was so soothing and I was actually able to sleep in between the contractions. The midwives got back and came in to check on me. I was now at 4 cm. I stayed in the bath for a while longer. It was really helping me with the pain. I was surprised at how easy it was going so far. One of them came back in to check on me and listen to the baby during a contraction. The baby’s heart rate sounded a good and so did mine so I stayed in for a while longer. However the next time they checked her heart rate it dropped a lot during the contraction. They told me to get out of the tub and get in a different position to see if the baby would tolerate it better. It worked great. I got on the couch on my left side and the baby’s heart rate was so much better through each one then. She checked me again and I was at 7cm. The contractions were getting pretty intense, and I was getting louder. Kaylee woke up from her nap at this time. Ryan was told to come home. Kaylee was not doing well at that time. She would cry during my contractions. Ryan got home just in time to take her outside. The midwife was a little concerned about the baby being under a little stress while I was in the tub and wanted to break my water to make sure it was clear. I was a little nervous for my water to be broken so I asked her to wait a little while. I was really afraid my contractions would become unbearable. They were intense, but still never felt bad enough to need pain medication. She waited a while and then broke my water. This is where things got a little scary. There was a lot of meconium in the water. We started to talk about transferring me to the hospital. We got the car seat out and I started to get dressed. The closest hospital would take me but would automatically set up for a c-section since they banned VBACs. I refused to go there. The next closest hospital was completely full. She came back in and told me my options. I could either take a 30 min car trip into Austin to have my baby at a hospital there where VBAC’s were allowed, or I could push out my baby right now. She said we had to get the baby out as soon as possible. There was not really a reason not to try and still have a homebirth. They had all the equipment and training necessary to take care of the baby as soon as it came. I was not able to have a water birth anymore though. I started pushing on the couch, but it was not working well. We moved to the bed. Since I did not know how to push it was hard to get in the right position and the right grip on it all. After trying many different positions I ended up back on the bed. Pushing was the hardest thing I have ever done. I did not know how to push a baby out since my first was a c-section. Finally I was getting the hang of it and could feel the head start to emerge. Amber was getting a little worried at this time though and told me I had 3 more contractions before she was going to call 911. I was so close. I pushed through all 3 and the baby’s head was not out yet. Sheila got on the phone with 911. I was having another contraction while she was dialing so I gave it all I possibly could. That last one did it. The head was finally out. Shelia hung up with 911 and came back in to the bedroom. Amber was busy suctioning her lungs. After what seemed like forever I was able to push the baby the rest of the way out and they put the baby on me. Amber said she was not going to tell me the sex (we didn’t find out during the pregnancy) she wanted me to find out for myself. I looked and saw we had another baby girl. My sister got Ryan on the phone and I told him I had the baby and it was a beautiful little girl. He had taken Kaylee and gone to his mom’s since she was not doing well here at home. He was excited and came home immediately. The phone calls were made while Norah and I were getting cleaned up. The midwives were so great. They put clothes in the washer and took me in the bathroom to get cleaned off and she even helped me wash my hair. They stayed here until about 1am helping us out with everything. Norah was 7lbs 4 oz and 20 ½ in, and absolutely beautiful. Norah’s birth was exactly how I had imagined a natural birth would be. It was unbelievable that I did it. I was very scared about how I was going to handle all the pain, but it never got as bad as everyone had told me it would be. Her birth was exactly how I wanted it. I felt so empowered, like I was a true woman now. It was the best feeling to be experiencing after being robbed of that with my first childbirth experience.

Birth of Chloee Rebecca Mays

My original due date was August 10th, but based on two ultrasounds and my belly continuously measuring a week ahead we thought it would be closer to August 3rd. Even beyond that, nobody thought we would even make it to August! At the beginning of July, I was already 3 cm dilated. But July passed and no baby. No big deal. I started maternity leave August 1st in anticipation of having Chloee that week. August 3rd came and went, no baby. No big deal. August 10th came, no baby. If I went another week, Amber told me I would need another ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. August 17th came, no baby and the ultrasound showed her to be strong and healthy. By this time everyone that was due after me by a few weeks had their babies (including Amber!)!! My nerves were starting to get to me but we were positive she’d come that weekend and nothing. Officially 2 weeks late and this little girl was not budging! So I asked Amber if we could meet on the morning of August 22nd. She broke all my remaining fibers, pulled my cervix forward and put some supplements on my cervix to try and loosen it up. She also put me on a blue and black cohosh cocktail to try to start contractions. I had to take it every 30 mins. At noon she said I was 4 cm and to call if anything started.

From there, my mom, grandmother and best friend went to eat. I had small contractions that I chalked up to the exam (this happened the last time Amber checked me too), so I didn’t get excited. From there we went shopping. Around 3 pm, my contractions were patterned and coming about every 7-8 mins. I didn’t tell anybody because I wanted to do this on my own and I knew the moment I said, “This is it!”, they would freak and smother me. We drove the bumpy back roads home and my mom even stopped because she saw a hurt bird on the side of the road. We got home at 5 pm and my mom and grandmother went home. We had already planned for Mattie to stay with her Little Paw for the night. I knew if she was with me during this she would be scared for me and I didn’t want her to go through that. Jon got home at 5:30. I got a shower to help relax. At 6 o’clock, my contractions were 3-5 mins. apart. I sent a text to Amber to let her know so she would be ready. I told Jon to call his mom, my mom and my grandmother to tell them to come back. Around 7 o’clock, we decided it was time to go to the birth center. I called Amber, no answer. So I waited for a call back. I called Meridian (“the apprentice”), no answer. Meridian called me back about 10 mins. later. She hadn’t been able to reach Amber either but that she was on the way to the center but I needed to give her a 15 min head start. We reached the center at 8:15 and when Amber checked me, I was 6 cm!

Amber told me to walk around or use the birthing ball, but to try and let gravity do its job. I walked around for a little bit, tried the ball but didn’t care for it too much. I asked Amber if I could get in the water and she said just the shower because the tub would slow things down. So I got in the shower and it was so relaxing. I must have been in there for 15-20 mins. and then the contractions changed and I told Jon I had to get out. I remember everyone talking about old TV shows and I answered one of their questions and we went back to the bed (Amber later told me that she heard me and thought that I still had a ways to go). I tried to rest while my mom played with my hair but that only lasted two contractions and I had to stand up again and Jon and I began to “dance” through the contractions. Up until this point, I was very proud of myself for being quiet during contractions (my mom later told me how amazed she was by this.), but with the intensity level of these contractions, I started moaning and wondering if I was going to be able to do this. My mom told me to remember to breathe and I told her to shut up (sorry Mom). She went and asked Meridian and Amber what she should say to help and Meridian came in to help me through the contractions. I asked if I could get in the tub now and she said get through this contraction and we will get you in the tub. Got through the contraction, took one step towards the bathroom and whoosh! My water broke!

I remember saying “my water broke” and Meridian called for Amber. I said “she’s coming” and Meridian felt for her and sure enough there was her head. Amber came in the room and Meridian told her that I was ready. Amber said to put me on the bed and Meridian told her we can’t because the head is too far down. So I was told not to push and Amber hurried to lay towels and pads down around mine and Jon’s feet, the whole time Meridian is holding Chloee’s head! Meridian said push and out came her head. Amber told us to reach down and feel her head, then another slow strong push and there was her shoulders and out came her body!! Meridian handed her to me and eased me down to the bed. Chloee looked at me with these huge beautiful eyes and it was love at first sight! Chloee Rebecca Mays was born at 9:55 pm. It all happened so fast that Jon’s mom, my grandmother and best friend missed her being born and they were just in the other room!

Amber and Meridian helped me into the tub to clean us off. After we got cleaned up and back on the bed, Amber and Meridian checked on Chloee’s measurements. Nobody could get over how big she was. Amber was afraid she wouldn’t fit in the scale sling. Meridian picked her up and struggling to hold her up, asked for guesses on her weight. 9 lb 12 oz! And she was 21 inches long! And her head was 13 ½ inches around! (I honestly believe that standing up while pushing made delivering her nearly painless to do so.) After all this, Meridian had to put a diaper on her. But she didn’t get it on in time and Meridian got to change Chloee’s first diaper too!

I began to nurse Chloee and everyone took turns coming in to see her. Amber and Meridian cleaned up the mess that was left and soon told me they were ready to leave. We said our goodbyes and continued to enjoy this little bundle of joy. I knew I didn’t want to stay long and was in a hurry to get home to my own bed and comfort zone. We were home by 2 the next morning and all got a great night’s sleep!!

The whole experience was mind blowing and amazing. It tested my sanity, confirmed my beliefs and in the end strengthened my soul. I gained the friendship of two amazing women!!
And my bond with Jon and Chloee is so strong because I can look back to that night and can say, “We did that!!”

Annabel Grace

The Birth of Annabel Grace
Monday, May 23, 2011 was a day like any other. Until, I started feeling cramps. I was five days past my due date. Could these be contractions? I wasn't sure. And everyone had told me, "Oh, you'll know when it's a contraction!" [Warning TMI]: other than the cramps, I had practically been pooping my intestines out all day. I think my body was clearing out to get ready for pushing! I went to spin class in the morning. People were nervous my water would break on the bike and I’d go into labor during class! Dad came over and helped with some things around the house—including setting up the co-sleeper (which turned out to be perfect timing!). But as the day went on, the cramps became more intense and more regular. It got to the point I was afraid to leave the house for fear of going into labor while I was out. I didn't call Mark about the cramps. I knew it wasn't “go” time and I didn't want to distract him from work. So instead, I called my midwife, Amber, to tell her what I was feeling. I knew deep down, Baby Austin was coming soon! She said it sounded like I was in early labor, but not to worry. She instructed me to continue on with my day and normal activities. So I followed "doctor's" orders and went to HEB to get some grocery shopping done. At the store, I had to pause in my tracks a few times because the pain took me by surprise. On one aisle, a man tried to ask me about where to find Spam. Spam, really? I’m in labor and you’re asking me about Spam, of all things?! I tried to tell him I didn't know as politely as I could. The lady who always pushes the "Meal Deals" stopped me to ask how far along I was. "Actually, I’m five days overdue and I think I’m in early labor!"

Mark got home in the evening and I told him about my day. "You’d better pack your bag!” I said. I showered and shaved in preparation of what was ahead. I made some mango protein smoothies, which I would later be so grateful I’d done for energy. After dinner, we sat down in the living room to watch the premiere of The Bachelorette (shameful, I know). Mark was on the couch; I was sitting on my birthing ball. By this time, we started timing the contractions because the cramps were coming every fifteen minutes or so. During the contractions (yes, by this point, I realized they were definitely contractions!) I had to stop everything and just breathe, bending over to hold onto the coffee table. Mark would knew the contraction was over when I finally was able to speak. We still didn't call anybody to tell them I was in early labor because Amber had told me these symptoms could go on for days. I didn't want to alarm anyone or get them calling for updates constantly. Mark and I retired to bed around 10pm. I tried to sleep between contractions, but when they came on, I was darting out of bed to sit on the toilet (this position just instinctively felt more comfortable) or I’d motion for Mark to massage my lower back. We went on like that until about 2am when I just couldn't take it any longer. I was not getting any relief during the contractions. I couldn't doze off anymore. And I was starting to get a little anxious about the drive to the New Braunfels Family Birth Center. Mark called Amber and told her how I was feeling. By this time, I was moaning in the background. She said it sounded like it was time for us to head to the birth center. I tried to pull on a sundress, but it wouldn't fit over my belly. I thought, Forget about it! And put back on my nightgown. Who cares what I’m wearing anyway? It’s two in the morning and I’m in labor! I put on my flip flops and we were out the door.

We arrived at the birth center about 3am. Amber and Meridian (her apprentice) were waiting for us. They had candles lit and soft spa-like music playing in the background. The atmosphere was so relaxing! I got on the bed and Amber checked me...four centimeters. Not bad! She said it was definitely a good time for us to come. Amber instructed me to walk around or sit on the birthing ball if I felt up to it. Yes, anything to keep this birth moving forward! Mark lay in the bed while I labored on the ball. Once again, when a contraction came on, I was calling for him to hurry and start massaging my lower back. After an hour or so, Mark told me, "Babe, I’m so tired. I’m not sure I’m gonna make it. I really need to try to get a little sleep." I though to myself, Tired, huh? Really? Sleep, yes, you do that. I’ll continue to labor here for the both of us. But I didn't really mind. Meridian was by my side acting as my doula, helping me through the pain. I can still remember her sweet little soft hands. She knew just what to do so I didn't really mind Mark resting. I more just found it humorous that he needed rest...no rest for the weary! Amber and Meridian were like little floating angels the entire night. They were fairly hands off at first, allowing Mark and I to experience labor together. But they were with me the moment I needed them.

I continued laboring on the ball until around 7am. During that time, I was so thirsty. Meridian kept feeding me ice. I tried to drink water and Gatorade. I even felt a little hungry and tried to eat an orange. But I ended up throwing it all up. I actually threw up several times. So many I stopped counting. I had read many birth stories in Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth that throwing up was common during transition. Vomiting actually seemed to help. Each time I vomited, my stomach would contract and feel like I was pushing Baby Girl down further. The coolest thing during labor was each time Meridian would check the heartbeat; she moved the sensor lower and lower. When I first arrived, she was listening to her heart near my belly button. Several hours later, she was down by my pelvic bone. Such a visual reminder; this baby was moving on down the birth canal!

Mark was so into the entire experience. He kept asking Amber what was going on each step of the way…even during my contractions. I got to the point where when he’d ask a question during a contraction, I’d just shake my head from side to side and wave my hands…obviously indicating for him to stop talking. He didn’t seem to get it, but Amber did. She told him I needed everyone to be quiet during the contraction. He was like, oh okay.

Around 7am Mark called my mom and asked her to come over. I wanted to be sure she'd be present for the birth. We texted friends and family and asked them to be praying. None of them had any idea I’d gone into labor. One friend actually wrote back saying she had woken up at 3am and felt lead to pray for me. Crazy because that was the exact time we arrived at the birth center. God is so gracious to let us get a glimpse of His work behind the scenes!

I definitely wanted my Mama by the time she got to the birth center. Amber had just decided to let me get into the bathtub around 8am when I was a little further along. The water felt so good. Such a relief and very relaxing. I continued to labor in the water. I’d lie back in the water between contractions, but during contractions, I’d pull myself up. I was so exhausted by this point; I would doze off between contractions. My head would bob like a bobble head as I drifted off to sleep. I was still enjoying the spa music, but there was one song that would repeat occasionally that I did not like. I would ask Amber to skip that song each time. For some reason the beat really irritated me! A little later, I noticed Amber and Meridian weren't in their street clothes anymore. They had changed into scrubs, ready to get down to business!

Mark got to asking questions again. I think it was hard for him because he wanted to understand what I was feeling and why. At one point, he started to ask a question right as I felt another contraction coming on. I sharply shouted, “DON’T TALK!!!” He quickly got the not-so-subtle direction. After the contraction passed, I sweetly said, “Babe, I’m sorry for yelling. I just really need everyone to focus during the contraction.” My mom was impressed that I apologized in the moment…so was I!

After a while in the tub, Amber asked me if I felt the urge to push, but I wasn't sure what I was feeling. She said to try to push a little on the next contraction just to see how it felt. If it hurt too badly, stop. If not, keep pressing on. It took me a couple tries before I got the hang of pushing. Previously during contractions, I’d moan out load. It’s a natural response and my sister had told me that the reverberations of your voice travel through your body and help move the labor along. Also, I’d read that keeping my mouth open wide with an "ah" sound is a key to the Sphincter Law (if you don't know what it is, look it up). But when it came time to push, Amber told me to stop making loud noises. Expressing the pain out of my mouth was actually taking the power out of my pushing. I was able to put more oomph in my push if I directed everything south instead. Boy was she right! I started feeling like I was getting somewhere...and yet nowhere at the same time. Pushing is very frustrating. I couldn't feel any progress. Each push felt the same as the last.

I had lost all concept of time. Except it was now light outside. I knew the morning was passing me by. I felt like I wasn't progressing. I asked Amber, "Am I really having this baby here in this bathtub today?" I was feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere and might need to be transported and take some drugs to get things moving. She assured me with a knowing look and said, "Yes, you are having this baby." That was all I needed. Okay, let's do this! Throughout my labor, Amber was so amazed by my baby girl's strong heart. She kept a great heartbeat throughout labor and never dropped a beat! I guess she got my endurance!

I did not labor alone. Mark was up at my head holding my arms. Mom was by my side. Meridian was at the other side. And Amber was at the end of the tub. I could not have done it without them. In order to push, I instinctively flopped my legs of each side of the tub. I held onto Mark's arms over my head. Each contraction, I basically did a giant crunch. Thank goodness for all those days I the gym. I was finally cashing in the work. And boy did it pay off!

I’ve heard it before, but now know for myself: giving birth has a lot of similarities to running a marathon. You have to go the distance. And although you can try your best to prepare, you won't really know what it's like until you experience it yourself. You have to be rested, hydrated, and well fed to have the strength to endure. Unfortunately, unlike with a marathon, you have no idea when the gun is going to go off! The infamous "wall" in a marathon showed up during birth except this time it was a "ring of fire." Just like the wall (around mile 19 for me), I knew it would be waiting for me. I’d read all about it and was expecting it. Once I first encountered the wall, I thought, I can't do this! But I knew I had to. I had no choice. This baby had to come out. I’d been preparing for nine months for this moment. And I couldn’t turn around. The ring of fire was not going anywhere. I had to face it. And if I didn’t jump through it, I’d just keep beating myself up against the wall. And that hurt! I didn't want to feel the pain anymore. So at some point, I just determined myself to blaze through it. I couldn't stop or else I knew I wouldn't start again. Both the marathon and birth are total mind over body experiences. And both have sweet victory at the end.

Amber told me she could see the baby's dark hair. She had me reach down and feel the baby crowning. She said I’d never feel anything like this again. At this point, the baby's skull was collapsed (praise the Lord!) so it could fit through the birth canal. The skin on the head was all scrunched up and fuzzy. I thought I might be giving birth to a Shar-pei puppy! Feeling her head was so encouraging to know how close I was. And with the final push I determined it would be my last. Oh my goodness...there was her head. The most bizarre thing to look down and see a head between my legs! The hard part was over. I barely remember pushing her body out. And then Amber said, "Get your baby, Sally." On May 24 at 11:08am, I reach down and lifted her to my chest and said, “Well, that wasn't so bad!"

I will never adequately describe my feelings. Most women talk about this instant love greater than they ever knew possible. I can't say I felt the same way until later. Right then, I just couldn't believe this little person came out of my body. Who are you? We’ve only just met and yet we've been together for so long. You belong to me. You are mine. You’re coming home with me. I’m responsible for you. She needed me and more than the way I’d been passively parenting the last nine months. I was her mother. Mark was crying (even if he won't admit it). Baby Girl heard his voice and looked up right at him and grabbed his finger as he extended it to her. I guess she recognized his voice from all the months of talking to my belly!

I was surprised how little I hurt after all my body had just been through. I guess it was the endorphins because the pain did kick in later. I just continued to lay in the tub while Meridian changed the water and added some healing herbs. I held my baby and we just stared at each other. I could not believe how alert and calm she was. Everyone else was bustling around. Mark was texting photos. Mom was talking to my dad, my sister, and my niece. Amber and Meridian were scurrying around taking care of things. I was just sitting in amazement. She latched onto my breast right away without any trouble. And I gave her first bath. Amber showed me what to do to try to get some of the sticky white vernix off her body. Once I got cleaned up and got in bed, I realized I was starving! I asked Amber when I could eat something. The first thing I had was a banana (of course!). Baby Girl weighed in at 7.6 ounces and measured 19 inches long. A surprisingly smaller baby than I’d expected since Mark and I were so big. But no complaints here!

After tying up all the loose ends (literally...I got two stitches!). My family said their goodbyes. Amber had Jason's Deli delivered. It was the best sandwich of my life. When Amber told me they were ready to leave the birth center, she asked me if I had any questions. Questions? You’re leaving already? Alone with our baby? First time parents. We have no idea what we're doing. Uh, no. I wouldn't know where to begin. So I just thanked her and said, “Bye!” Mark and I just stared in amazement at the sweet baby between us on the bed. We were so tired, we slept a couple hours. Mark’s mom came to see Baby Girl right before we left. On our way home, we stopped by Mark's parents' house so his dad could meet our little one. We also stopped by his brother's house so his family could meet our new addition! Everyone was so amazed I was up and around. I said, "I gave birth, I’m not incapacitated!" Of course, I do think I was still running on endorphins because the pain and tiredness set in later. But it was all worth it. I can't imagine giving birth any other way. I’m so thankful God gifted me with such a wonderful birth experience!

The Birth of Maeve

The Birth of Maeve

The truth is it all happened so fast. Not really the birth, but just the whole week, the whole month, the whole pregnancy. If you know me well, then you would agree that I am not a procrastinator. I like my boxes checked off because I like to relax when all is complete. I kept putting off the baby stuff though. Not quite sure as to why. I guess I just wasn’t really worried about it. I know at this point that you really don’t need much of anything to have a baby and regardless of my frivolous preparations a baby will come when the time is right. I did very little to get ready. Brandon kept asking me to run through the details, but I thought we had more time.




I was still very happy being pregnant. On the last day I took time to store in my mind her kicks and rolls. I still love that feeling. It really never gets old. Sometimes she would surprise me with her strength and the ability to feel her little foot always made me smile. She would be in my arms soon, but I wanted to remember and cherish every part of our relationship. On Friday night I woke up with irregular contractions and bloody show. I could not believe it. The baby shower...the big, beautiful, perfect baby shower was Saturday. There was no way I could have her so soon. I was certain she would wait out the month. The contractions died off and the shower went on as planned. It was incredible. The atmosphere, the food, the music, the people, the cake, everything was perfect.

I went home that night and slept without interruption. Sunday went on and then that night the contractions started up again. This time same as before. I went about my normal routine on Monday and tried to just ignore this weird warning. I had never had a long labor before, never recall losing a textbook mucus plug, and never had a baby this early. I didn’t feel stressed or over worked. I was rested and my mind was at peace. I went about my business and decided I would just keep on, besides, at this rate I could be contracting irregularly for the next several weeks and I could easily accept that and just get used to it. What other choice did I have? And seriously, at this point in life I have learned to appreciate every single moment, so I could not complain. She was moving and I could feel her close to me and I could talk to her and love her. I was still at peace.

I kept thinking at some point, maybe as I got closer, I would start to worry, start to get scared, start to try and control. It didn’t happen. I think that’s the way the whole pregnancy went. I always felt so comfortable, so secure with the whole process. So at ease with the outcome, no matter what it was. There were moments when I thought about my death. I remember twice thinking that this peace was almost unnerving. Would I be okay? I didn’t want my children to have grow up without a mother and I didn’t want to be careless with my life. There was still nothing I could do about it and I knew ultimately God was in control of my life.

One thing I got to experience and learn about was dealing with others’ and their fears. I got to see firsthand what it must be like for first time moms dealing with skeptics. I announced to anyone who asked that I would be delivering this baby without a midwife present. My husband would be there to help me. I had always wanted an unassisted birth, but my trust was underdeveloped. I started planning, or not planning, for a birth that just happened. I knew that babies would come without help from anyone. The problem was that even midwives, and those who claim to trust full heartedly the process of birth can be funny about letting the mother experience true empowerment on their own. During my moments of introspection I found my fears. Most of them were based on my own body failures. I had always needed help with a stubborn anterior lip before. I was told that my baby may never come if it wasn’t moved out of the way. I was now wondering if this was true. My friend spoke about bleeding and death and the quickness of complications. People seemed afraid for me, were praying for me, were trying to get me to allow someone else in should something go wrong with my body, my baby, or my birth...just in case. The thing was, I didn’t have these fears. I didn’t have any fear at all. I knew that no matter what happened, good or bad, I would have God there with me and I had complete peace in this.

I do appreciate the fact that my close friends and family shared in my confidence. I may have expected my husband or my mother or my grandmother to question my plans, but they seemed just fine with it. Brandon said he had no fear at all about the process and fully trusted in God’s plan too. That was nice to know.

I started a hypnobirthing class in my first trimester. I do believe this helped me get through my thoughts during the pregnancy. It gave me confidence and a place to go when I needed to truly relax and accept the wisdom and the love that surrounds me. I found it a bit difficult to get into that place during birth, but the help it provided me during the pregnancy was well worth it.

Monday night (August 15th) we started a movie for the kids and I decided to just get some rest. They were all piled in the room watching The Perfect Game. Just like that, my water broke and at that point I thought I might be able to say for sure that I was in labor. It was around 9:15. I could now call my friends and family and I could know that at some point in the near future I would give birth. Over the next couple of hours my mom, my cousin, my sister-in-law, my apprentice, and my photographer arrived. Things were going, but slowly.

The contractions always seemed spaced out. I got into the tub as the intensity built expecting relief. The tub seemed to bring them on stronger and my ability to laugh and joke slowly faded away. I was in that place again. I recognized it instantly and the pressure I was expecting was now with me. Occasionally they would get close together, but then they would space out again. I’m not sure how far apart they were, but I would guess they seldom got closer than 5 minutes. My thoughts were so clear, my mind stayed so present. I may not have been in the room, so to speak, but I was in the birth completely.

By midnight I was about 6 cm. Her head was still pretty high and it seemed like we still had a ways to go. The contractions were getting stronger and were really starting to hurt now. I was starting to dislike labor and then I felt inside and found a centimeter anterior lip in front of her head. It was sore and pushing on it hurt. I was so disappointed to find myself in this place once again. I pleaded with my baby and my body to get over this and allow descent. I tried pushing her down and it worked. Her head moved every time I pushed. It seemed like she could bypass the cervix. My cervix hurt. I didn’t even want to think about trying to push it back. I realized the pressure was that cervix stretching open. I had thoughts about uterine prolapse if she couldn’t get through. I questioned whether or not I should tell Brandon that I was done, that I couldn’t do it anymore. I knew good and well that I could, I really just didn’t want to. I didn’t want to keep going on like this. I felt like a child at that point, ready to give up when I knew my body was doing this and it really didn’t matter how I felt about it. I pushed again and it eased the peak.

She was about to be born. I knew that for sure. I wanted Brandon to hold me up, support my perineum. She seemed to be barreling down and it is was overwhelming. I could feel her move down and it seemed to be happening so quickly. I wasn’t ready to feel her head come out. I needed more time to adjust to this new feeling, but of course, that mattered little. Within the next few minutes her head was out. I don’t remember the burn or the stretch. It was fast this time and that part was bearable. She had a loose nuchal cord. I tried to give it room. I couldn’t reach to pull it all the way over and by the time Brandon had it moving her body was delivering. I begged him to pull her the rest of the way out. Her body seemed to be just sitting there and it hurt. He did and I unlooped the cord once she was out. It was over and there she was. It was now 1:15 on the morning of August 16th, 2011. We did it! Just the 3 of us! I was so relieved and so empowered and so happy.

The first time I saw her I was a bit surprised. She had a head full of hair and was covered in vernix. It is a bit weird seeing your baby for the first time. I felt like I knew her so well and yet had no idea what she looked like. By the looks of her she was not quite 38 weeks, but she was healthy and strong. She never cried. She was peaceful and alert. Nursing went well right off. We all climbed into bed and looked her over. My mom charted measurements and notes as I performed her exam. Brandon weighed her and we all just cherished the slow, easiness of the process. She weighed 6 pounds, 11 ounces.


It seems so silly now, this is my 5th baby. I don’t know how I ever managed to forget the magnitude of a mother’s love. I am so enthralled in this baby, in her smell, in her breathing, in her noises, in her eyes. Everything about her is so perfect and so sweet. It is in moments like these that you realize God’s love for us. To know what he has given us, these moments of love, they’re so unmatched, so unbelievable, so strong, so encompassing, so fulfilling, so real.

The birth was more than I had hoped for. I was never afraid. I was present mentally and was able to learn through the experience more about contractions and pain in labor. I was able to feel her head descend through my body and feel the sensation of working with my partner to free her completely. I was able to experience birth on my terms. I was never pressured, no one ever needed to suggest anything, I was able to think through my own thoughts without anyone filling my head. It was my birth and it was perfect.


Birth Story Written by Amber Henry Riedel in August 2011
Baby Info:
Maeve Marie Henry Riedel
6 pounds, 11 ounces
Born on August 16th, 2011 at 1:15 am

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